Application for Awsome

I am the most interesting person in the world. People follow my every will. I have beaten Mr Van Camp in a punctuation contest. Chuck Norris checks his closet for me every night. God prays to me every night. I was at the last supper. I command armies of rodents with my mind. I can turn lead into gold. I have sailed to the ends of the earth. My breed of biologically engineered bears have been successfully trained to use guns.....and nunchaku. I see dead people. When i walk into a bar.... people continue on with their business as usually. I can disappear from human eyes when i see fit to do so.

The Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except for the big, fat, pissed-off Italian guy. The hat he wore was a veil; engulfing its wearers' face in shadow. Through the darkness that shrouded upon him, one could faintly make out the glaring eyes of a content murderer. A faint glow from the burning end of his cigar lit up his mouth, which scowled as if it were that of a bear woken from hibernation prematurely.

The Good Olde Days

Back in the good old days, in a town who's name is irrelevant, in the wild west, two rowdy gunslingers bent on proving themselves, walk outside the saloon and prepare to test their mettle. The spurs on their boots rattle as they walk to the middle of the dirt road and stare each other down. As the inhabitants of the small town sense an oncoming battle, they hurriedly run inside and close the shutters. The nearby horses One of the gunslinger's holds his hand just out of reach of his revolver, and, monkey see, monkey do, so does the other. For one of these men, there will be no tomorrow. A tumbleweed blows across the road in the wind Then, all of a sudden, both men seemed to grab for their revolver's at the same time, and in a miraculous quick draw, one of the men dropped dead. With his opponent laying stone cold on the ground, the victor spins the gun around his index finger and smoothly pockets it into his holster.

Altering Perception

Every human, whether they realize it or not, is bound by the will to power, that is, the ambition to reach the highest possible position in life and have control over all other inhabitants of the human race. Man has tried to achieve control people for ages, but the only certain way to gain this advantage is to be able to control their minds. Any other superpower is helpless to defend itself as i could simply control their minds, and therefore their body and their superpower, whatever it may be. I could read the minds of anyone, and alter their perception at my will. Even Superman, seen as possibly the greatest superhero ever, is powerless to stop me once i control his mind. Once all of humanity is controlled and/or their thoughts and perception are changed to my liking, I will essentially rule the world. Even faced against the incredibly agile and teleporting nightcrawler, i must simply control him or alter his mind so he fights and aids me, and i then essentially have the power to teleport where i please, when i please. I could alter the memories of others and place false memories into others to better my cause.